Monday, February 29, 2016

War Rations


 War, what is it good for?  In this instance a brand new box of Fruit Snacks.  Summer is coming and the season's theme is "heroes fighting heroes."  We've covered some Batman v Superman nosh but now it's Marvel's turn.  In preparation for Captain America: Civil War the movie, we get Captain America: Civil War the fruit snacks!

Much like Cap's last foray into the fruit snack genre, he must share the billing.  Not only does his antagonist Iron Man join him, but a few other characters show up and some even make their fruit snack debut.  Let's check out the team line ups:

Team Cap: Captain America, Ant-Man & Hawkeye
Team Tony: Iron Man, Black Widow & Black Panther

While Black Widow and Hawkeye have been on a package or two and possibly on some actual food, this is (to my knowledge) the freshman effort by both Ant-Man and Black Panther.  Welcome aboard guys!

Friday, February 26, 2016

Man and Superman

Ok, yeah, it's on now.  It's going to be one heck of a terms of superhero food.  You've probably seen these already but I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't have the Superman v. Batman cereal blog entry.  Up, up and away:

I recently referred to Marvel & DC's summer movie promotions this year as quality vs. quantity.  But don't mistake that for an unnecessary slam against DC.  There is definitely something to be said for quantity and DC is definitely going for it with the whole "one of each" approach. 

So we get Superman Caramel Crunch Cereal and Batman Chocolate Strawberry Cereal.  Two for the price of two!  When it comes to this clash of titans you really can vote with your wallet.  But let's face it, you'll probably just buy both like me.  Now, let's crack 'em open:

My take is that the Superman cereal is way better.  Chocolate and strawberries may taste great together but but artificial chocolate flavoring and artificial strawberry flavoring do not.  But I do appreciate the little bit of extra effort of making them in little bat shapes and little "S" shield shapes.  Now let's flip over the boxes and do our morning reading:

On the Superman cereal you get the standard Superhero Quiz and on the Bat Box you get a rundown of each of their abilities which serves to highlight the absolute absurdity of a fight between a person with god-like powers and a person who has a rigorous workout routine.

Coming to a cereal bowl near you!

Monday, February 22, 2016

Meat Marketing

Here's my theory on this:  I think Marvel got wind of the massive Bats v Supes promotional brouhaha and they decided to fight quantity with quality.  When you give the green light to superhero branded meat products you have opened the door to some next-level marketing warfare.  With that, we crack open a package of Avengers Turkey Sausage Sticks:

This one also has the virtue of being more inclusive of the bench warming team members.  In addition to the "Big 4" you also get Black Widow, Hawkeye and the Falcon.  Not enough artery clogging fun for you?  Good news, then!  You also get a villain!  Ultron joins the fray to turn snack time into ultimate battle time!

So wrap your head around this game changing nosh.  Barriers have been broken!  Doors have been opened!  Aquaman canned tuna?  Why not?  Hawkman chicken wings?  Let's give it a try!  Iron Man canned ham?  You bet!

Saturday, February 6, 2016

In This Corner...

I don't have any predictions about this movie but I do have some fruit snack related predictions.  Primarily, I predict that in the not too distant future I will find the Superman equivalent of these fruit snacks (because, of course, there is one) and I'll be so irritated at myself for prematurely blowing my bat-wad and doing a standalone blog entry instead of being patient and doing the combo.  It'll be the Punisher/Daredevil Energy Shot debacle all over again.

I also lied about not having any predictions about the movie.  It will be horrible.  Hopefully my pissy attitude about it won't effect my enjoyment of the gummies.  And with that, here are YOUR Batman v Superman Fruit Snacks!

As you can see that this (presumably variant) Batman box is very Batman-heavy.  You get a good look at O'Battion and the new costume on the front.  And on the back you can have your fandom questioned by way of a Batman quiz.  But once you get done proving your Bat-cred you can kick back and relax with a sweet maze and then proceed to ignore the "Super Hero Scramble" - that's just work.

Let's take a look at the breakdown.  Looks like we get a rare example of equal character distribution in the shapes.  A logo and head for Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman respectively.  I was wondering if this is the first ever Wonder Woman Fruit Snack but surely she was represented in the Cartoon Network Justice League Fruit Snacks of days past.

Regardless of her previously gummified nature (if any) it's still good to see her rperesented.  I would not have been surprised if the box had only contained something like: "Batman," "Batman Logo," "Batmobile," "Batman's Boot," "Batman's Rare Collection of Bat Themed Erotica" and "Superman."  And speaking of Supes, he's here too!

And this is really the reason why I think there's a Superman version of the box.  Half of the little baggies are Batman and half are Superman.  So at some point I'll be in a store that's not my usual store and I'll see that horrible Superman staring at me from his box of fruit snacks and I'll clench my fists and just start screaming.  So if you see that particular scenario in your favorite grocery store just take a breath and move on.  That's probably what I'll end up doing.

UPDATE:  Ugh, yeah I found them