Friday, July 21, 2017

Emerald Frylight


You thought your lunch was safe...and it essentially is.  But adventure calls!  Once again a hero rises from the deep fried ashes of Valhalla to insure the herbage and spiciness of your meal will be finger lickin' adequate.  So grab a spork and let's dive into the latest extra crispy adventure of Colonel Sanders as he teams up with Green Lantern in "Across the Universe."

Our story begins as Ferris Aircraft monitors the  crash landing of...something.  As those vultures from the press crowd in to get their pound of chicken flesh, a familiar figure emerges with the payload from the downed spacecraft:

Apparently the Colonel has been testing the process of shooting his new Zinger Sandwich into space...for...some reason.  I assume he's trying to break into the intergalactic fast food market.  But since Ferris can't get the job done he turns to one of his super powered pals for help.

"Every member of the Green Lantern Corp is working on this."  Every single member has ceased protecting their respective sectors in order to help move sandwiches around in space.  Seems legit.  On the brightest (day) side, that comes with the opportunity to have some sweet GL cameos:

The (entire membership of) Green Lanterns determine that for some reason the space buckets are showing up to their destinations empty.  Not so much as an herb or a spice (or that one napkin they give you in the drive thru) make the intergalactic trip.  An investigation is in order and that can only mean one thing:  time to get deputizin'.

So the Colonel gets his own ring but there's a bit of a missed opportunity in that he doesn't give himself his own custom GL uniform.  I guess KFC thought his trademark white suit just couldn't be messed with.  But that's the only opportunity they missed since their intergalactic investigation led to a few DC Comics cameos:

After a quick stop at the Source Wall, the cop buddy road trip heads to Rann to say high to Adam Strange.  And then a quick stop at Thanagar:

to check in with Hawk Girl.  At this point it just seems like Green Lantern is showing off all the cool people he knows to the Colonel.  Sanders didn't have enough time to be impressed since they picked up enough clues to lead them right to the prime suspect.

So we then get your standard fight scene as Larfleeze gives his usual spiel about how he's greedy and he wants and wants and wants and that he's totally into these new space sandwiches.  But the Colonel has heard enough and, as the true businessman, comes up with the most profitable solution.

Yep, the logical solution to this problem is to give Larfleeze his very own KFC franchise to run.  Makes perfect sense, right?  Well it doesn't if you don't think about it too much.  All that's left is to give a little praise for a job well done:

Great job guys!  Just like the last couple of issues with the Flash, it looks like they aren't making print copies of this adventure.  Digital only, so grab your copy from Comixology.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Tangled Webs

Normally when you think of cheese snacks that incorporate your favorite characters, you'll immediately go to that old standby, String Cheese.  In fact, awhile back we got a hold of some tasty Avengers String Cheese and assumed that would be where it ended.  WRONG!  Check this out:

So what exactly are "Cheese Webs?"  Believe it or not they are pretty much what they sound like.  My theory had always been that String Cheese was originally some kind of byproduct of a cheese making process and then a marketing genius packaged them and made a mint off of the soccer mom market.  I'm assuming this stuff might be something similar.  Take a look:

Somebody in some cheese factory saw this and said, "Spidey Webs!"  I'm guessing that when Halloween gets closer we'll see something similar brought to us by the guy who saw this and said "Brains!"  Other than that, I'm not sure what they can do with these.  At least they taste great.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Galaxy Queen

Summer is coming and that means two things:  Super Hero Movies and Ice Cream!  Luckily there's a place just down the road that is offering something of a "mix tape" of both of those summertime treats.

Yep, looks like the Guardians have come to spread their galaxy-saving shenanigans to Dairy Queen.  They seem to be really running with the "Mix Tape" theme and part of the promotion apparently involves mixing (or, rather, ordering) different items from the pretzels and ice cream:

But the main push seems to be the Guardians of the Galaxy Blizzard.  Just like mixing pop hits from the 70's on a cassette tape, the Blizzard mixes ice cream with candy or cookies or whatever.  The outcome is a rag tag team up of a dessert that saves the day (when "saving the day" means wanting something tasty to eat).  Behold:

According to DQ, "Cookie and Brownie Forces Have Combined."  So our treat is filled with "mini brookies" (yes, that's an actual term that Dairy Queen uses to describe their cookie/brownie hybrid).   So it's several desserts in one.  No raccoon chunks or wood chips but plenty of tasty excitement for you and your galaxy saving friends.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Breakfast Club

Not too long ago, we got our grubby hands on a box of Justice League Pop Tarts which featured heroes, sidekicks, logos...everything you want in a quick breakfast.  It's safe to call them a success since Kellogg's decided to produce a sequel.  Say "Good Morning" to the Villains Edition:

Any time I see a "Villains" something-or-other there's the inherent fear that we're going to get a 10-1 ratio of Batman villains to other villains.  I mean, the front of the box has twice as many Bat bad guys as Superman bad guys.  Will the back of the box ease our concerns?

Nope.  It's not too bad but there's still an over-representation of Bat guys.   But let's focus on the positive instead.  Years ago when I first saw Atrocitus come out of that lake of blood, full of rage, I never in my wildest dreams thought I would one day be able to eat something with him on it.  And not just him...let's take a look at the usual suspects:

I don't know much about the process of printing onto foodstuffs but apparently something went wrong with those last two.  But most of the baddies come across legibly.  Let's see the final breakdown:

Batman Villains: 5
Aquaman Villains: 1
Green Lantern Villains: 1
Superman Villains: 1
Flash Villains: 1
Wonder Woman Villains: 1

Yeesh!  Looks like my fears are confirmed.  I'd like to think we could have had at least one additional Flash villain.  There's plenty to choose from and they get featured regularly on the CW on a weekly basis.  Oh well, at least I've got breakfast for the next couple of weeks.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Sweet & Power


 The DC Super Hero Girls franchise has released plenty of merchandise.  In fact, Santa brought a ton of it to my daughter this past December.  But among the dolls, costumes and play sets there was a serious lacking of any food products.  I don't know what caused the delay but I'm glad it's over because I'm pleased to announce that we now live in a world with Super Hero Girls Fruit Snacks!

DCSHG has a huge cast of characters.  At one point or other, a big chunk of the DC Universe has ended up in the web series or at least in the background of the first movie.  But the main group usually consists of Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Batgirl, Bumblebee and Katana with some occasional assists (for some reason) by Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn.

And it's that Fab Five that made the cover of the box and who also got bios on the back:

Each one is written in first person and does a pretty good job of introducing character traits and super powers while being personable.    Of course, they include the tried and true dotted lines for cutting out your favorite characters and staging battle scenes while snacking...this kind of thing is not done NEARLY enough.

Let's crack open a box and take a gander at the goodies:

Now I've been documenting novelty fruit snacks for a while now and it seems like lately they're making them harder to photograph/scan.  When I have time, I'll get my conspiracy theory thoughts organized.

Until then we've got the faces of Supergirl, Wonder Woman and Batgirl as well as the logos of Supergirl, Bumblebee and, I believe, Katana.  Not bad but, once again, we run into my pet peeve of doubling up on a character instead of including an additional one.  Sure, it would have been great to see Star Sapphire or Starfire or Fire but for now these will do fine.

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Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Pasta la Vista

You'll never believe what I saw as I strolled down the Walmart aisles recently.  Well, I guess you don't have to guess since it's the subject of this blog entry.  Now that the dramatic tension is out of the way, here's what I saw:

It feels nice to put aside superhero shaped gummy snacks in favor of a big bowl of superhero shaped pasta in a can!  It's been awhile.  So much so, that I'm worried I might have lost my taste for what used to be a regular lunchtime treat in my younger days.  It doesn't help that these don't have meatballs.  So only one of them made it into my shopping cart and, later, my Super Friends bowl:

The taste was fairly reminiscent of the Spaghetti-O's of my youth and the little logo shapes are much larger than the old school pasta rings I'm used to.  That makes for interesting chewing.  The shapes represent the "Big 3" at DC:

Batman, Superman and Wonder surprises here.  Seems like a Green Lantern logo might have been possible in the pasta medium but it looks like it just wasn't meant to be.  Well now isn't the time to get greedy, now is the time to fill up our Super Friends bowls with our Chef Boyardee bounty.


Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Next Fry Day

The time has come to tag along on another adventure with an American Icon.  But this time, not just one Colonel will do (although I guess, technically, there were two Colonels last time).  It's time for the Colonel Corps!

The next issue of the KFC/DC combo meal takes it to the next level with a tour of the DC Multiverse and a collection of Colonels that rival any previous Crisis on Various Earths.  Our story begins with the Colonel of Earth-3, Colonel Sunder, finger licking his wounds after his last confrontation with Colonel Sanders and the Flash (both from Earth-1) when he receives a mysterious visitor:

Meanwhile on Earth-1, our Colonel is also recovering from the previous confrontation.  Apparently many of his employees fell under the sweetly seductive spell of Sunder and are now not working up to the Colonel's standards.

You see, Colonel Sanders is all about doing things the hard way whereas Sunder is all about the shortcut.  So maybe the employees aren't cooking the chicken all the way through?  Salmonella is not your friend on any Earth (except maybe Bizarro World).

It's worth noting that the last issue was a team-up between the Colonel and the Flash (with a little assist from Green Lantern) but this adventure is definitely Colonel-centric.  So if you were yearning for more Colonel Sanders in your life, then this adventure is definitely for you.

While getting his house in order, Earth-1 Colonel is overcome by a mental attack from an unknown source.  He wakes up to the sight of the Colonel and the Flash from Earth-11:

After a little exposition we learn that all the Colonels have had their memories wiped.  They each only retain 1 of the 11 secret herbs and spices that make up the KFC recipe.  The solution was then obvious: hop on the Cosmic Treadmill and go from Earth to Earth collecting Colonels and therefore the herb and spice knowledge necessary to recreate the Secret Recipe!

The Earths/Colonels they found include (but are not limited to):

Hardcase Harlan from Earth-19 (the so-called "SteamPunk" Earth)

Koln-El from Earth-22 (the Kingdom Come Earth)

Kolonel from Earth 51 (the "Kamandi" Earth)...which seems to have some upsetting connotations since he is clearly a chicken that fries and serves other chickens for his patrons.  But that's a story for another time. 

Several other Colonels from several other Earths (including one from the 31st Century who cooked for the Legion of Super Heroes and the Bizarro Colonel) hopped on board for the cause.  They eventually track down Colonel Sunder and his mysterious ally who turns out to be...Colonel Grodd!!

So now Sunder and Grodd must face the combined might of the Colonel Corps: an elite team of southern fried superheroes representing the 11 herbs and spices of justice!  (Also, don't forget, the Flash of Earth-11 is there too):

It doesn't take long for our heroes to take out the bad guys.  They even repel a psychic assault from Grodd who tempts them to take the easy way out...but the easy way doesn't get that chicken fried, does it?

So once again, evil is defeated and lunch is served.  We have to assume that all the Colonels were returned to their rightful Earths and Sunder and Grodd were incarcerated, never again to take away delicious meals from society.  The End...or is it?!?!?