Breakfast on the Run

 Previously:

Cup Cakes  - -  Sunrise Superman

There are faces you expect to pop up in the grocery aisles from time to time:  your Supermen, your Spider-Men, your Batmen and maybe your Hulks.  And these days, with various cinematic universes, it's not unlikely to find other super heroic faces staring at you from the candy or hot cocoa aisle.  

They're usually in the context of being on a team or currently starring in a hit movie.  But sometimes, a solo artist sneaks in and gets a chance to shine.  That brings us to the Flash cereal, a.k.a "Lightning Bolts."

It was released alongside the Superman cereal under the Cap'n Crunch banner and is shrouded in mystery. Why were these cereals released?  Why does it say "Cap'n Crunch" on the box?  Why were Superman & the Flash chosen as opposed to other characters?  The answers may have been lost to the annals of cereal history.

But unlike the Superman box, the Flash is flying solo.  The back of his box has artwork meant to resemble a trading card, including the most minimal amount of biographical information possible.  It feels a little low effort and won't make for multi-breakfast reading sessions but, hey, it's the Flash!  Check out this video where I crack open a box:

Yes, I'm on the TikToks now.  Do the right think and go like and subscribe...

Sunrise Superman

 Previously:

Superman Returns  - -  Look! Up in the Pantry!

Welcome back to the cereal aisle, Man of Steel!  It's been awhile since I've seen him in any part of the grocery store but it's good to have him back.  This is an odd one because, like the fruit snacks from years ago, it doesn't seem to tie in with any kind of a movie or cartoon project.  It's some kind of collaboration with Cap'n Crunch but other than his name in the top right corner of the box (and perhaps the taste of Crunch Berries), the Cap'n doesn't seem to be very involved.  

But instead of the crew of the S.S. Guppy, Supes made it a family affair and brought his cousin along.  Flip the box over and the back has Supergirl.  The skyline of Metropolis is visible behind them both.  The city, and breakfast, has never been so well protected.  The box art also gives you a good look at the actual cereal with it's red, yellow and blue "shields" but you always have to wonder how accurate that is.

Well, wonder no more.  The box art is fairly spot on with one major exception:  the inclusion of orange and green cereal pieces.  They don't match the "super" color scheme so you have to wonder what gives.  Another "Oops, All Berrys" type of mixup at the cereal factory?  Is it the work of the villainous Lex Luthor?  Some kind of Kryptonite shenanigan?  Perhaps we'll never know.

  Superman and Supergirl aren't out there on their own though.  This is a two-cereal promotion with the Flash having his own cinnamon flavored cereal.  Unfortunately I haven't found of box of those yet.  They seem to have sold out at super speed but I'm on the hunt and I won't give up until the Scarlet Speedster joins me for breakfast. 

Breakfast Club

Not too long ago, we got our grubby hands on a box of Justice League Pop Tarts which featured heroes, sidekicks, logos...everything you want in a quick breakfast.  It's safe to call them a success since Kellogg's decided to produce a sequel.  Say "Good Morning" to the Villains Edition:

Any time I see a "Villains" something-or-other there's the inherent fear that we're going to get a 10-1 ratio of Batman villains to other villains.  I mean, the front of the box has twice as many Bat bad guys as Superman bad guys.  Will the back of the box ease our concerns?

Nope.  It's not too bad but there's still an over-representation of Bat guys.   But let's focus on the positive instead.  Years ago when I first saw Atrocitus come out of that lake of blood, full of rage, I never in my wildest dreams thought I would one day be able to eat something with him on it.  And not just him...let's take a look at the usual suspects:

I don't know much about the process of printing onto foodstuffs but apparently something went wrong with those last two.  But most of the baddies come across legibly.  Let's see the final breakdown:

Batman Villains: 5
Aquaman Villains: 1
Green Lantern Villains: 1
Superman Villains: 1
Flash Villains: 1
Wonder Woman Villains: 1

Yeesh!  Looks like my fears are confirmed.  I'd like to think we could have had at least one additional Flash villain.  There's plenty to choose from and they get featured regularly on the CW on a weekly basis.  Oh well, at least I've got breakfast for the next couple of weeks.

Captain's Crunch

This hasn't been the best summer for super hero food but it's been pretty darn good.  I still haven't finished off both boxes of Batman v Superman cereal and now the Breakfast Gods have smiled again and given us the gift of Civil War Cereal:

Make no mistake though, despite how it looks the above pic, there is only one Civil War cereal.  One side has Cap and the other side has Iron Man.  I guess as you eat you can pick a side to either stare at admirably or glare at ominously depending on your hashtag team affiliation. 

Inside you get the standard sweetened cereal and marshmallows:

I genuinely wonder why they went with circular marshmallows as opposed to red, white and blue star shaped marshmallows.  If Lucky Charms could give us multiple marshmallow shapes in the 70's, surely the Avengers have that technology as well.

I'll leave you with the side of the box, commentary free.  Mainly because I don't have anything interesting to say about it:

It's Marketin' Time!

You wouldn't know it from the grocery aisles but there's a new Fantastic Four movie in theaters now.  So with the lack of Human Torch Flamin' Cheetos and/or Mr. Flan-tastic Instant Custard Mix, Denny's has decided to pick up the slack with some Fantastic Four (loosely) themed menu items.

Unfortunately it seems to fairly difficult to re-brand various stacks of pancakes with exciting Fantastic Four elements.  So much so that pretty much none of them are worth mentioning or even stealing pics from Denny's website.  If you squint just right the Thing Burger might kind of look like the Thing.  Here's the promo:

Don't forget to tip your server!

Dawn of a New Age

The time has come.  After years of speculation and anticipation, whispers and rumors, we finally get to see what we've been dreaming of for far too long.  Today is the day I've waited for all my life:

Ok, so granted, I've been ranting about wanting Iron Man cereal for the past several years and this is technically Avengers: Age of Ultron Cereal, but look who's right up front.  Shellhead is flanked by his two best wingmen but for some reason there's no love for Thor.  Now no one would expect to see Hawkeye of Black Widow (or as they're sometimes known: "And the Rest") but the lack of Thor is...well...ungodly.  This neglect continues once you open the box:

In addition to the nondescript, square cereal shapes there are three different marshmallow varieties, presumably representing our three cover boys.  Red and blue for Cap.  Red and yellow for Iron Man and green and a slightly different shade of green (unless I imagined it) for the Hulk.  But if you are worried about Thor withdrawls, just turn the box over:

Consider it a cameo.  We've got one coder breaker-esque puzzle type game to help you bide your time while chewing.  The bulk of the back, however is devoted to the overly complicated way of buying a certain number of products in a certain time frame in order to get a free ticket to some movie of somethingorother.  Who cares!?!?  I've finally got my Avengers cereal!!  It will now take its rightful place in my collection: