Breakfast on the Run

 Previously:

Cup Cakes  - -  Sunrise Superman

There are faces you expect to pop up in the grocery aisles from time to time:  your Supermen, your Spider-Men, your Batmen and maybe your Hulks.  And these days, with various cinematic universes, it's not unlikely to find other super heroic faces staring at you from the candy or hot cocoa aisle.  

They're usually in the context of being on a team or currently starring in a hit movie.  But sometimes, a solo artist sneaks in and gets a chance to shine.  That brings us to the Flash cereal, a.k.a "Lightning Bolts."

It was released alongside the Superman cereal under the Cap'n Crunch banner and is shrouded in mystery. Why were these cereals released?  Why does it say "Cap'n Crunch" on the box?  Why were Superman & the Flash chosen as opposed to other characters?  The answers may have been lost to the annals of cereal history.

But unlike the Superman box, the Flash is flying solo.  The back of his box has artwork meant to resemble a trading card, including the most minimal amount of biographical information possible.  It feels a little low effort and won't make for multi-breakfast reading sessions but, hey, it's the Flash!  Check out this video where I crack open a box:

Yes, I'm on the TikToks now.  Do the right think and go like and subscribe...

Sunrise Superman

 Previously:

Superman Returns  - -  Look! Up in the Pantry!

Welcome back to the cereal aisle, Man of Steel!  It's been awhile since I've seen him in any part of the grocery store but it's good to have him back.  This is an odd one because, like the fruit snacks from years ago, it doesn't seem to tie in with any kind of a movie or cartoon project.  It's some kind of collaboration with Cap'n Crunch but other than his name in the top right corner of the box (and perhaps the taste of Crunch Berries), the Cap'n doesn't seem to be very involved.  

But instead of the crew of the S.S. Guppy, Supes made it a family affair and brought his cousin along.  Flip the box over and the back has Supergirl.  The skyline of Metropolis is visible behind them both.  The city, and breakfast, has never been so well protected.  The box art also gives you a good look at the actual cereal with it's red, yellow and blue "shields" but you always have to wonder how accurate that is.

Well, wonder no more.  The box art is fairly spot on with one major exception:  the inclusion of orange and green cereal pieces.  They don't match the "super" color scheme so you have to wonder what gives.  Another "Oops, All Berrys" type of mixup at the cereal factory?  Is it the work of the villainous Lex Luthor?  Some kind of Kryptonite shenanigan?  Perhaps we'll never know.

  Superman and Supergirl aren't out there on their own though.  This is a two-cereal promotion with the Flash having his own cinnamon flavored cereal.  Unfortunately I haven't found of box of those yet.  They seem to have sold out at super speed but I'm on the hunt and I won't give up until the Scarlet Speedster joins me for breakfast. 

Hershey's Heroes

When it comes to qualifying Super Hero Food, I tend to stick to my arbitrary rules ("Iron Man Cereal" vs. Cap'n Crunch with a picture of Iron Man on the box) but just as often I break my arbitrary rules when something catches my eye.  And the new Hershey's DC Super Hero Bars did just that.

They're being marketing along with the "Back to School" products which you can see by Superman and Wonder Woman chaperoning the school bus.  They're obviously keeping an eye on any potential trouble makers trying to hide out in the back.  As you can probably guess, these a Hershey bars that are branded with DC Comics characters.

They're miniature size and, as such, would fit just fine in a lunch box.  I guess that's why they're in with the "Back to School" themed stuff.  Although I think they would have done just fine if they were released a month later for Halloween.  I know a few little superheroes who would love to get these in their Tricks-Or-Treats plastic pumpkin.  Let's crack open that bag:

No big surprises in the lineup.  We've got Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Green Lantern, Aquaman and, once again, Cyborg has kicked Martian Manhunter right out of the picture.  I'm starting to think this replacement Leaguer is gonna stick around.  I hold out hope that maybe it will lead to some Doom Patrol candy or whatnot. 

With the wrapper off, we see the traditional, sectioned-off Hershey's bar with each section containing a character's logo.  But there's more than just the Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Superman and Batman symbols that you see here.  So far, I've only opened a few but I've also seen the Batmobile, a "BAM!" sound effect, and some stars that have a Wonder Woman vibe.

Not sure if these are mostly going to end up in lunchboxes, Halloween bags or just in a lot of folk's quarantine candy pile but it's always good to see the League make a prominant appearance in the grocery aisles.

Crack Team

There are two types of Super Hero Food: one type that ties in with a movie or TV show and another that doesn't.  The first kind is a dime a dozen whereas the second is a little more rare.  This type seems to be an effort to keep the characters in the public eye and, of course, make a little money.

These are always more fun because they just "are."  Justice League Crackers are Justice League Crackers for the sake of being Justice League Crackers.  Which brings us to today's entry: Justice League Crackers!

Nabisco Justice League Mini Cheese Nips are the most recent item to make its way into my shopping cart.  They are your standard cheese cracker but with the theme of never-ending justice.  The usual gang is involved and, wisely, Nabisco decided to go with logos instead of faces.  Let's see how the cracker crumbles:

No Green Lantern and, of course, the ongoing Martian Manhunter snub is still in full effect.  Also, apparently Cyborg has a logo now and it's not bad.  Looks like a "C" with a gear in the middle which is a pretty clean design and translates well into the cracker medium.

The rest of the usual line up get their own crackers, as per their Justice League contracts.  All the logos look pretty good and are easily more recognizable than they tend to be in gummie format which makes me wonder why we don't get more character cracker stuff on a regular basis. 

There's a group shot on the back along with a nice little quiz.  As with most "back of the box" fare, this feels less like homework and more like a little light snack time fun.  You can see that the cracker-less Green Lantern makes an appearance at the back of the group shot and even gets his own trivia question.

The twelve packs of these beauties will fit very nicely in your Justice League lunch box with your Doom Patrol Tuna Salad sandwich.  Enjoy!

Next Fry Day

Previously: The Colonel of Two Worlds

The time has come to tag along on another adventure with an American Icon.  But this time, not just one Colonel will do (although I guess, technically, there were two Colonels last time).  It's time for the Colonel Corps!

The next issue of the KFC/DC combo meal takes it to the next level with a tour of the DC Multiverse and a collection of Colonels that rival any previous Crisis on Various Earths.  Our story begins with the Colonel of Earth-3, Colonel Sunder, finger licking his wounds after his last confrontation with Colonel Sanders and the Flash (both from Earth-1) when he receives a mysterious visitor:

Meanwhile on Earth-1, our Colonel is also recovering from the previous confrontation.  Apparently many of his employees fell under the sweetly seductive spell of Sunder and are now not working up to the Colonel's standards.

You see, Colonel Sanders is all about doing things the hard way whereas Sunder is all about the shortcut.  So maybe the employees aren't cooking the chicken all the way through?  Salmonella is not your friend on any Earth (except maybe Bizarro World).

It's worth noting that the last issue was a team-up between the Colonel and the Flash (with a little assist from Green Lantern) but this adventure is definitely Colonel-centric.  So if you were yearning for more Colonel Sanders in your life, then this adventure is definitely for you.

While getting his house in order, Earth-1 Colonel is overcome by a mental attack from an unknown source.  He wakes up to the sight of the Colonel and the Flash from Earth-11:

After a little exposition we learn that all the Colonels have had their memories wiped.  They each only retain 1 of the 11 secret herbs and spices that make up the KFC recipe.  The solution was then obvious: hop on the Cosmic Treadmill and go from Earth to Earth collecting Colonels and therefore the herb and spice knowledge necessary to recreate the Secret Recipe!

The Earths/Colonels they found include (but are not limited to):

Hardcase Harlan from Earth-19 (the so-called "SteamPunk" Earth)

Koln-El from Earth-22 (the Kingdom Come Earth)

Kolonel from Earth 51 (the "Kamandi" Earth)...which seems to have some upsetting connotations since he is clearly a chicken that fries and serves other chickens for his patrons.  But that's a story for another time. 

Several other Colonels from several other Earths (including one from the 31st Century who cooked for the Legion of Super Heroes and the Bizarro Colonel) hopped on board for the cause.  They eventually track down Colonel Sunder and his mysterious ally who turns out to be...Colonel Grodd!!

So now Sunder and Grodd must face the combined might of the Colonel Corps: an elite team of southern fried superheroes representing the 11 herbs and spices of justice!  (Also, don't forget, the Flash of Earth-11 is there too):

It doesn't take long for our heroes to take out the bad guys.  They even repel a psychic assault from Grodd who tempts them to take the easy way out...but the easy way doesn't get that chicken fried, does it?

So once again, evil is defeated and lunch is served.  We have to assume that all the Colonels were returned to their rightful Earths and Sunder and Grodd were incarcerated, never again to take away delicious meals from society.  The End...or is it?!?!?

Commercial Break: Kraft Macaroni & Cheese DC Superheroes

Previously: X-Men Pasta

Word on the street is that today is National Macaroni Day.  So let's celebrate with this commercial from the 90's featuring Kraft Macaroni & Cheese DC Superheroes Dinner!

Cotton Club

I like to make my rounds to grocery stores, drug stores, dollar stores and the like to keep an eye on what's happening in the Super Hero Food world.  You never know what you'll find and you never know where you'll find it.  To that end, I like to swing by Toys 'R' Us every now and then.  They have a small little candy section that delivers from time to time.  In fact, it's where I found our latest bag of super hero cotton candy:

Among the team's other accomplishments, the Justice League has now successfully broken into the world of spun sugar.  Justice League Cotton Candy is here and we're going to have to get used to it.

It looks like we're also going to have to get used to Martian Manhunter being scrubbed from JL history.  While it was rare for him to show up on various food products from the beginning, it is now a given that Cyborg will be in his place for now and...forever?  At least Aquaman made the cut.

Looks like the flavor breakdown includes pink vanilla and blue raspberry.  While blue raspberries don't occur in nature, they have been a part of kids kids' candy and drinks for many years now.  So there's no surprise there.  Pink Vanilla, though?  That seems to be something that only happens in the Cotton Candy World.  Which is weird because "cotton candy" has been a flavor in and of itself for a good long while.  So it's weird that vanilla got an invitation to this party.

And it looks like this.  It's fairly similar to the Batman Cotton Candy from awhile back.  Two flavors for the price of one!  So if you want to add a little carnival flair to your day-to-day life you need only to head to Toys 'R' Us (while supplies last).

Pop Stars

Your new breakfast of champions comes in the form of Justice League Pop Tarts.  While there is currently a deluge of Batman v Superman stuff out there right now, these guys are specifically branded as "Justice League."

Sure it has the "Big 3" plastered on the front, who happen to also share screen time in the movie but plenty of their team mates also show up to tell you the good news about this year's most exciting breakfast treat:

        

 And the entire roster shows up on the back of the box doing their patented "Justice League Lineup Pose" including some First Appearance info, and of course secret identity info:

 And everybody gets a short bio underneath the posing.  Except for Cyborg for some reason.  I'm not too inclined to play the race card but this certainly raises few eyebrows (at least two).  While they may be stingy with the bios, they definitely went all out when it comes to the actual food:

 If you want to get technical, then sure, Catwoman was technically a part of the Justice League line up during the Grant Morrison years but I've never bought into the idea of Robin being in the League.  Sure, maybe Batman let him tag along to one or two of the meetings but he never got his membership card.

To put this into a historical perspective (which I know you were begging for), superheroes are no stranger to the toaster pastry genre.  Back in the Spider-Man movie heyday we got two different versions:

Flash Fried

Freebie promotional comics have been common for years.  We all breathed a little easier when Captain America fought the Asthma Monster and it was an exciting roller coaster ride when the X-Men visited the State Fair of Texas.  Sure these books are a little cheesy and they are clearly part of the marketing monster we all live with but, intentionally or not, they can be fun.

Fast food restaurants have been taking part in the fun for years with Captain D's setting sail on the four colored seas a few decades ago, among others.  Not to be outdone by a Captain, Colonel Sanders recently decided it was time to jump from the chicken bucket to the comic pages, and thus, we get "The Colonel of Two Worlds" from DC:

I love that instead of the often overused Big Guns of the DCU (Superman & Batman) they used the Flash as the main hero.  It probably helps that he has a hit show on the air currently but, hey, it's his time to shine.

The story begins with the Mirror Master bringing Captain Cold up to date on his latest plan.  Tying in with the New 52 story Forever Evil, MM plans to bring over another ne'er-do-well from the evil Earth-3 to help them with their nefarious plans to rob banks and whatnot.  But instead of a member of the Crime Syndicate, or anyone that might make sense, he chooses the Colonel Sanders of Earth-3: Colonel Sunder!

It soon becomes clear to the two Rogues that this might not have been the best All Star Team-Up since Sunder's plan seems to involve doing practically nothing while the two of them are forced to take thankless jobs in his crappy restaurant:

Sunder steps up his game after awhile when he starts glory hounding for attention by bragging about how bad his chicken is and how little effort he puts into it.  It can be assumed that this is a common advertising method on Earth-3.  Possibly the Bizarro World as well.

Well that's about all a certain Southern Earth-1 gentleman can stand and so Colonel Sanders decides to enter the fray:

Hey, remember how the Flash was supposed to be in this?  Well, he finally makes his appearance at this point, complete with an all-new, unnecessarily redesigned costume that includes unnecessary extra elements.  The Flash costume has historically been revered for being sleek and streamlined but those days are over:

Green Lantern is also involved but he really doesn't do anything of any consequence.  He just seems to be hanging out, which I guess super heroes do from time to time.  In fact, the Flash really doesn't do much either.  The real hero of the story is Colonel Sanders and he proves he is a man of action as the two Justice Leaguers try to catch up.  It doesn't take long for Sanders to run afoul of Sunder and we get the Colonel vs. Colonel showdown we've been craving:

Not only does Colonel Sanders' military training immediately kick in but he seems to have an overflowing bucket of special skills and possible super powers: from hurling a table into Sunders' "Nugget Gun" defense system, to being able to withstand the dreaded "Pink Slime Ray."  He's able to shrug it off with what appears to be another white suit that he has on underneath his signature threads:

 As you can guess, good eventually triumphs over evil while the Flash is protecting bystanders from the deep fried fracas.  Captain Cold and the Mirror Master don't do a whole lot either.  At this point these seem to realize the error inherent in teaming up with an Earth-3 tyrant who only seems to be interested in bragging about how bad his food is.  So once things cool down they all head to their local KFC franchise to break biscuits:

And if that isn't a happy enough ending for you the Colonel shows why is he known far and wide as a compassionate warrior and offers the two Rogues the best fate ex-cons can have: full time employment at Kentucky Fried Chicken!

 I know we are all hoping that this story remains in continuity.  The potential is nearly endless.  I see a story line where Colonel Sanders is offered Justice League membership but he turns it down because he thinks they're all a bunch of jive turkeys.  Or maybe a spin-off title featuring Captain Cold and Mirror Master working their way up the chain to finally owning their own KFC franchise?  Once that happens...imagine the shenanigans!  Imagine them!!!