Bag in Time

It was 1996 and the Marvel machine was a mere shadow of what it would become.  Movies were just a pipe dream then and cartoons were king.  The spotlight didn't fall on the Avengers as much as it did Spider-Man, the X-Men and the Fantastic Four.  With small screen success comes attention from powerful people.  And who's more powerful than Ronald McDonald? 

...which brings us to the Marvel Super Heroes Happy meal.  Now, a more ambitious blog would have a complete breakdown of each of the Happy Meals Toys and perhaps a little bit of information/trivia about them.  I don't have that.  What I do have is two of the bags used at the time for the promotion (see pic above).  I bought them for less than a dollar on eBay and then promptly forgot about them.  But when they arrived in the mail today, the happy-go-lucky heroes, with they're word jumbles and brain teasers, inspired me to pop them in the scanner.

The first bag gives us a scenario that involves the visible Invisible Woman who seems to have had the tables turned on her.  Her friends are the ones who have disappeared.  Can you help her find the Hulk, the Human Torch, Jubilee and Spider-Man?  If not, then maybe connect with a smiling Wolverine and help him with his word puzzle.

In yet another Spider-Man/X-Men team-up, Spidey has shot some webs to stick it to his three mutant pals.  Can you figure out which line goes to the (still-smiling) Wolverine, Storm and Jubilee?  Admittedly, it took me a few attempts.  

Grab the scissors and paste and head to the side of the bag.  It's time to put these panels of Spidey in the "correct" order.  Although the avant-garde side of me would insist that there are multiple "correct" orders and Spider-Man's unique skill set could lead to any number of routes up and down that building.  Regardless, let's check out the next bag.

Next up is a game of observation.  Find the differences between the right and left side of the room.  I'm assuming the obvious ones like Thing/Hulk and Spider-Man/Wolverine totally count.  But honestly, it's more difficult finding things that actually do match on each side of the room.  Maybe it's more challenging when you're working through a french fry coma.  

The other side is more of a group shot of the gang along with a low effort word jumble.  It's interesting to note that there only seems to be three X-Men on each bag and only 3/4 of the Fantastic Four.  It's always curious to see odd character pairing like this. 

If you've been lamenting the lack of mazes on these things, then lament no more.  The Thing needs to find the Hulk through this rock wall place.  If you've got a spare 6 seconds, give it a try.  

You might have noticed the mention of a "Marvel-ous Offer" on the both of these bags.  Let's turn the bag over to the final side to see what it could be:

If you like Marvel Super Heroes Happy Meals, odds are you probably like Spider-Man Magazine.  All it took was a $1.50 for shipping and handling and this order form from your Happy Meal bag, and two issues of those bad boys would eventually be mailed to you.

So there you have an impromptu look at two 25 year old happy meal bags.  If they were to do this promotion today we might still see the Hulk and Spider-Man but the rest would unfortunately be left out in the cold.  Here's hoping that another round of hit movies get these guys back on the lunch menu.

Swim Team

 Previously:

 Justice League Cheese Nips  - -  Avengers Cheez-Its

There they were...staring right up at me from the shelf on the cracker aisle at Target.  After Endgame, we thought the Avengers were done but it looks like they've returned.  Now instead of the plains of Wakanda or the streets of Manhattan, this time the battle rages on in your lunchbox.

Looks like the the world's greatest superheroes are teamed up with the Pepperidge Farms Goldfish.  Black Widow (deceased), Captain America (retired), Iron Man (deceased) and the Hulk (alive and less angry?) are the attention-getters on the outside of the bag, but what's on the inside?

 Our snack lineup consists of the Avengers "seal," Iron Man's mask, Black Panther's mask and Black Widow's symbol.  It's good to see Black Panther represented and, at this point, Iron Man is a no-brainer.  But if they were going to include symbols, I wouldn't have minded another character to show up instead of just the Avengers "A."  I also suspect that the Widow's hourglass symbol might have come from some previous franchise that got the cracker treatment.  More research is need to confirm that theory though.

And if you've got some time to kill while snacking, why not treat yourself to a "back of the bag" maze?  Pick your favorite Avenger and make your way to the center...hours of fun.

There are also regular shaped Goldfish in the mix so traditionalists don't get too disoriented while chomping down on these new, unfamiliar superhero shapes.  Grab a handful during the next Marvel Disney Plus show.

Far Out

Previously:

Teen Titans Go Fruit Snacks  - -  Justice League Fruit Snacks

DC Superhero Girls Fruit Snacks  - -  Batman v Superman Fruit Snacks

Amazing Spider-Man 2 Fruit Snacks  - -  Iron Man 3 Fruit Snacks

Captain America Fruit Snacks  - -  Superman Fruit Snacks  - -  Super Hero Squad Fruit Snacks

Amazing Spider-Man Fruit Snacks  - - Batman Fruit Snacks  - -  Avengers Fruit Snacks

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary to promote a new Spider-Man movie, mankind must produce and distribute a new version of that character's fruit snacks.  To my knowledge there was no new version of the beloved gummies for "Spider-Man: Homecoming" so let's see what "Far From Home" brings to the lunchbox scene:

As of this writing, Spider-Man is dead and exists as a pile of dust on Titan...so I guess he eventually gets better.  The release of these snacks isn't exactly what I'd call a spoiler since I think we all saw his resurrection coming.  I mean, you're not exactly gonna be excited about buying faceless, formless (possibly flavorless?) fruit snacks so the return of our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man was a given.  Unfortunately his return didn't seem to warrant any new shapes.  Let's see the breakdown:

Eh...nothing we haven't seen before sadly...two Spidey faces, two Spidey poses and two Spidey webs...all of them repurposed from previous fruit snacks releases.  I understand the need to cut corners from time to time and re-use a shape or two but, c'mon!

This is the MCU Spidey!  Let's put some effort into it!  How about a Nicky Fury shape or a big Mysterio fish bowl head shape?  Seems easy enough.  I'd even settle for Ned or Aunt May.  But I guess we get what we get.  Does a fruit snack by any other shape not taste as sweet?

Tangled Webs

Normally when you think of cheese snacks that incorporate your favorite characters, you'll immediately go to that old standby, String Cheese.  In fact, awhile back we got a hold of some tasty Avengers String Cheese and assumed that would be where it ended.  WRONG!  Check this out:

So what exactly are "Cheese Webs?"  Believe it or not they are pretty much what they sound like.  My theory had always been that String Cheese was originally some kind of byproduct of a cheese making process and then a marketing genius packaged them and made a mint off of the soccer mom market.  I'm assuming this stuff might be something similar.  Take a look:

Somebody in some cheese factory saw this and said, "Spidey Webs!"  I'm guessing that when Halloween gets closer we'll see something similar brought to us by the guy who saw this and said "Brains!"  Other than that, I'm not sure what they can do with these.  At least they taste great.

Captain's Crunch

This hasn't been the best summer for super hero food but it's been pretty darn good.  I still haven't finished off both boxes of Batman v Superman cereal and now the Breakfast Gods have smiled again and given us the gift of Civil War Cereal:

Make no mistake though, despite how it looks the above pic, there is only one Civil War cereal.  One side has Cap and the other side has Iron Man.  I guess as you eat you can pick a side to either stare at admirably or glare at ominously depending on your hashtag team affiliation. 

Inside you get the standard sweetened cereal and marshmallows:

I genuinely wonder why they went with circular marshmallows as opposed to red, white and blue star shaped marshmallows.  If Lucky Charms could give us multiple marshmallow shapes in the 70's, surely the Avengers have that technology as well.

I'll leave you with the side of the box, commentary free.  Mainly because I don't have anything interesting to say about it:

Infinity Bars

Marvel went retro with its latest snack treat offering.  When you buy a box of these chewy granola bars you get faced down by the old school Avengers (and Spidey) and for a group of guys who are hanging out on the front of a box of granola bars, they sure look pissed!

 

Even with the all star line up on the front the box beckons you, nay commands you, to "see the character wrappers" inside.  Since they're so proud of them let's take a look:

All right, not bad I guess.  It's always good to see a rare appearance of Black Widow on a food product.   Even rarer to see her in the retro style.  Additionally, each character wrapper contains a factoid about that character that may or may not be completely made up.

For example, "Iron Man's Armor adds five inches and 200 pounds to his frame."  While your head is spinning for that information, let's head to the back of the box:

We've got some games and the tried and true "cut out collectible trading card."  The Hulk card definitely makes up for not getting a Hulk wrapper although I am wondering what his factoid would have been.  Maybe something about the cut and length of his purple pants.

It's also worth noting that cutting along those dotted lines is entirely too stressful.  So I'm going to need a few minutes to get psyched up.

Punished

There are some characters that struggle to find a niche in the Super Hero Food market.  At the top of that list is the super violent (and beloved) vengeance machine known as the Punisher.  But Frank Castle has finally gotten his due in the form of SK's Energy Shots:

Cap's uptight chagrin notwithstanding, Marvel's original badboy seems like a good fit with the often wild world of energy drink marketing.  And it's always good to see comic characters venturing away from the cereal aisle and on to the labels of other types of goodies.

You can find these beauties at the check out aisles of grocery stores, convenience stores and wherever else the weight of the world has crushed you to the point that you need a little energy boost.  There is also a Daredevil variety but, for the life of me, I can't find them anywhere.  Anyone seen them?

It's also worth noting that several years ago Frank popped up on a label for a series of collectible cand bars along with some of his Marvel cronies:

It's been a long time since we've seen him but maybe this is the start of a Punisher renaissance!

Let's Get Crackin'

It.  Has.  BEGUN!

Avengers Age of Ulton may still be a few months away but the Hype Train has now officially left the station.  Forget the trailers, posters, tweets and online buzz.  The REAL first day of movie promotion starts in the grocery store.  And that day is today.  Avengers Cheez-Its, anyone?

They're certainly not Marvel's first superhero foray into the cracker genre:

 

But some extra steps were taken here and that need to be acknowledged.  Let's start with the shapes.  With many teams, particularly the Avengers, food real estate is at a premium and usually goes to the most popular profitable characters.  That being said, I would like to welcome Black Widow (who usually gets left out) to the grocery aisle, even if it's only her logo:

In addition to her logo we've got Iron Man's mask, Cap's Shield, the Avengers logo, Thor's hammer...essentially the usual shapes we've seen in cookies, pasta and fruit snacks before.  Of course, there's no Hawkeye but it's rare to see him on a package, outside of a group shot anyway so it's not like he was expected.  We'll just have to be satisfied with Widow's inclusion.      

The other good element from this snack is a throwback to the old days of games on the back of cereal boxes and this time you get two for one:

Everything is included except the coin you need to flip for "Game of Heroes."  I would image that it would work with dice as well but Big Cracker didn't want to take the chance that you didn't have a pair handy.  Odds are, you are someone near you might have a coin on hand when cracking open a box. 

You can also try spend some cracker crunching time with "Ultron's Menacing Maze."  And if it's too menacing then there is a URL at the bottom, in small print, you can use to find the answer.  Yes, that's right.

Hopefully this is only the beginning of the AoU hype train.  I, for one, am ready to get on board.