Breakfast on the Run

 Previously:

Cup Cakes  - -  Sunrise Superman

There are faces you expect to pop up in the grocery aisles from time to time:  your Supermen, your Spider-Men, your Batmen and maybe your Hulks.  And these days, with various cinematic universes, it's not unlikely to find other super heroic faces staring at you from the candy or hot cocoa aisle.  

They're usually in the context of being on a team or currently starring in a hit movie.  But sometimes, a solo artist sneaks in and gets a chance to shine.  That brings us to the Flash cereal, a.k.a "Lightning Bolts."

It was released alongside the Superman cereal under the Cap'n Crunch banner and is shrouded in mystery. Why were these cereals released?  Why does it say "Cap'n Crunch" on the box?  Why were Superman & the Flash chosen as opposed to other characters?  The answers may have been lost to the annals of cereal history.

But unlike the Superman box, the Flash is flying solo.  The back of his box has artwork meant to resemble a trading card, including the most minimal amount of biographical information possible.  It feels a little low effort and won't make for multi-breakfast reading sessions but, hey, it's the Flash!  Check out this video where I crack open a box:

Yes, I'm on the TikToks now.  Do the right think and go like and subscribe...

Sunrise Superman

 Previously:

Superman Returns  - -  Look! Up in the Pantry!

Welcome back to the cereal aisle, Man of Steel!  It's been awhile since I've seen him in any part of the grocery store but it's good to have him back.  This is an odd one because, like the fruit snacks from years ago, it doesn't seem to tie in with any kind of a movie or cartoon project.  It's some kind of collaboration with Cap'n Crunch but other than his name in the top right corner of the box (and perhaps the taste of Crunch Berries), the Cap'n doesn't seem to be very involved.  

But instead of the crew of the S.S. Guppy, Supes made it a family affair and brought his cousin along.  Flip the box over and the back has Supergirl.  The skyline of Metropolis is visible behind them both.  The city, and breakfast, has never been so well protected.  The box art also gives you a good look at the actual cereal with it's red, yellow and blue "shields" but you always have to wonder how accurate that is.

Well, wonder no more.  The box art is fairly spot on with one major exception:  the inclusion of orange and green cereal pieces.  They don't match the "super" color scheme so you have to wonder what gives.  Another "Oops, All Berrys" type of mixup at the cereal factory?  Is it the work of the villainous Lex Luthor?  Some kind of Kryptonite shenanigan?  Perhaps we'll never know.

  Superman and Supergirl aren't out there on their own though.  This is a two-cereal promotion with the Flash having his own cinnamon flavored cereal.  Unfortunately I haven't found of box of those yet.  They seem to have sold out at super speed but I'm on the hunt and I won't give up until the Scarlet Speedster joins me for breakfast. 

Captain's Crunch

This hasn't been the best summer for super hero food but it's been pretty darn good.  I still haven't finished off both boxes of Batman v Superman cereal and now the Breakfast Gods have smiled again and given us the gift of Civil War Cereal:

Make no mistake though, despite how it looks the above pic, there is only one Civil War cereal.  One side has Cap and the other side has Iron Man.  I guess as you eat you can pick a side to either stare at admirably or glare at ominously depending on your hashtag team affiliation. 

Inside you get the standard sweetened cereal and marshmallows:

I genuinely wonder why they went with circular marshmallows as opposed to red, white and blue star shaped marshmallows.  If Lucky Charms could give us multiple marshmallow shapes in the 70's, surely the Avengers have that technology as well.

I'll leave you with the side of the box, commentary free.  Mainly because I don't have anything interesting to say about it:

Man and Superman

Ok, yeah, it's on now.  It's going to be one heck of a summer...in terms of superhero food.  You've probably seen these already but I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't have the Superman v. Batman cereal blog entry.  Up, up and away:

I recently referred to Marvel & DC's summer movie promotions this year as quality vs. quantity.  But don't mistake that for an unnecessary slam against DC.  There is definitely something to be said for quantity and DC is definitely going for it with the whole "one of each" approach. 

So we get Superman Caramel Crunch Cereal and Batman Chocolate Strawberry Cereal.  Two for the price of two!  When it comes to this clash of titans you really can vote with your wallet.  But let's face it, you'll probably just buy both like me.  Now, let's crack 'em open:

My take is that the Superman cereal is way better.  Chocolate and strawberries may taste great together but but artificial chocolate flavoring and artificial strawberry flavoring do not.  But I do appreciate the little bit of extra effort of making them in little bat shapes and little "S" shield shapes.  Now let's flip over the boxes and do our morning reading:

On the Superman cereal you get the standard Superhero Quiz and on the Bat Box you get a rundown of each of their abilities which serves to highlight the absolute absurdity of a fight between a person with god-like powers and a person who has a rigorous workout routine.

Coming to a cereal bowl near you!

Dawn of a New Age

The time has come.  After years of speculation and anticipation, whispers and rumors, we finally get to see what we've been dreaming of for far too long.  Today is the day I've waited for all my life:

Ok, so granted, I've been ranting about wanting Iron Man cereal for the past several years and this is technically Avengers: Age of Ultron Cereal, but look who's right up front.  Shellhead is flanked by his two best wingmen but for some reason there's no love for Thor.  Now no one would expect to see Hawkeye of Black Widow (or as they're sometimes known: "And the Rest") but the lack of Thor is...well...ungodly.  This neglect continues once you open the box:

In addition to the nondescript, square cereal shapes there are three different marshmallow varieties, presumably representing our three cover boys.  Red and blue for Cap.  Red and yellow for Iron Man and green and a slightly different shade of green (unless I imagined it) for the Hulk.  But if you are worried about Thor withdrawls, just turn the box over:

Consider it a cameo.  We've got one coder breaker-esque puzzle type game to help you bide your time while chewing.  The bulk of the back, however is devoted to the overly complicated way of buying a certain number of products in a certain time frame in order to get a free ticket to some movie of somethingorother.  Who cares!?!?  I've finally got my Avengers cereal!!  It will now take its rightful place in my collection:

The Hulk Shills for Honey-Comb

Cereal commercials tend to follow certain patterns.  Either kids have the cereal and the mascot tries to take it or the mascot has the cereal and the kids try to take it.  Sometimes these patterns are broken up with certain groups sharing cereal or tricking each other out of cereal.  The main point usually tend to be that the cereal is the greatest commodity in the world and everybody wants it.

One variation on the theme is that cereal has the power to solve various problems.  For instance, it can soothe the savage beast.  So when the Hulk finally decided to publicly endorse a cereal this was the obvious theme they ran with.

It was a beautiful 1970's day at the Honey-Comb Hideout.  But trouble soon started when the Hulk showed up enraged from hunger.  His main snack requirement was regarding size so the Honey-Comb Kids had to explain things to him:

It didn't take long for him to get on board and help himself to a heaping bowl:

So after enjoining his fair share of a complete breakfast he goes back from whence he came without so much as a "thank you."  (Although he didn't kill anybody so I guess that's a plus.)

They are are left to do the dishes and change their crap-filled pants.  You can witness the bizarre encounter for yourself:

It would be a few decades later before the Hulk would get his very own cereal.  The 2003 Hulk movie produced an insane amount of promotional tie-ins, the best of which was Hulk Cereal:

It's safe to say that it was the best part of the movie.