Fruit Brutes

 Previously:

 Far From Home Fruit Snacks  - -  Teen Titans Go Fruit Snacks  - -  Justice League Fruit Snacks

DC Superhero Girls Fruit Snacks  - -  Batman v Superman Fruit Snacks

Amazing Spider-Man 2 Fruit Snacks  - -  Iron Man 3 Fruit Snacks

Captain America Fruit Snacks  - -  Superman Fruit Snacks  - -  Super Hero Squad Fruit Snacks

Amazing Spider-Man Fruit Snacks  - - Batman Fruit Snacks  - -  Avengers Fruit Snacks

From the ashes of a long, dreary year of sheltering in place, comes the good news of brand new fruit snacks.  The Avengers are back!  And they're in a variety of fruit flavors!  Similar to the "Super Hero Squad," "Marvel Super Hero Adventures" was/is an animated adventure cartoon aimed at the younger audience with kid-friendly designs and age appropriate stories.  With those factors in place, a box of fruit snacks couldn't be far behind.

Flip the box over and we get more of the gang.  Apparently the show features a ton of characters but, logically, they went with familiar movie characters for the outside of the box and for fruit shapes.  Let's take a look:

  I noticed they don't list any actual flavors so we'll have to assume that colors are indicative of taste.  Hulk = Green = Lime?  Let's go with that.  Since several of these characters have been killed off of the movie franchise, this might be the last time we see them in the grocery aisles for a while so now is the tike to fill your carts and your bellies.  Eat up!

Captain's Crunch

This hasn't been the best summer for super hero food but it's been pretty darn good.  I still haven't finished off both boxes of Batman v Superman cereal and now the Breakfast Gods have smiled again and given us the gift of Civil War Cereal:

Make no mistake though, despite how it looks the above pic, there is only one Civil War cereal.  One side has Cap and the other side has Iron Man.  I guess as you eat you can pick a side to either stare at admirably or glare at ominously depending on your hashtag team affiliation. 

Inside you get the standard sweetened cereal and marshmallows:

I genuinely wonder why they went with circular marshmallows as opposed to red, white and blue star shaped marshmallows.  If Lucky Charms could give us multiple marshmallow shapes in the 70's, surely the Avengers have that technology as well.

I'll leave you with the side of the box, commentary free.  Mainly because I don't have anything interesting to say about it:

Team Effort

The time has come for us to take a long hard look at Avengers Granola Bars.  Just in time for Civil War, these guys put Captain America front and center on the box.  He's definitely the star of the moment and it's his time to shine.

Of course the back of the box is fair game for entertainment.  They're forgoing the puzzle and game route in favor of the the old "cut out your own trading card" chestnut.  This box had the Hulk.  I searched the shelves to see what other characters were in the mix but it looks like the store only got the Hulk shipment.

I'm always tempted to cut these things out but, of course, I never do.  I like to think that lots of other people do though.  Years from now the things we've protected from sunlight and dust in the practice of keeping so called "collectibles" in perfect shape will be completely upstaged by the wonderment of the perfectly cut back-of-the-box trading card.  That's the world I want to live in.

Cap and Hulk are joined by the rest of the gang on the box and on the "Special Character Wrappers":

As usual, no Hawkeye. And the new kids (Scarlet Witch, the Vision, Ant-Man, etc) didn't make the cut either.  Looks like the lunch box bouncer has has very specific parameters when it comes to letting certain heroes behind the velvet rope.

UPDATE:  Looks like there's an Iron Man version of the box too.  Which is odd that they are "Avengers Bars" instead of "Civil War Bars":

War Rations

(Previously):

 Batman v Superman Fruit Snacks - - Amazing Spider-Man 2 Fruit Snacks

Iron Man 3 Fruit Snacks - - Captain America Fruit Snacks - - Superman Fruit Snacks

Super Hero Squad Fruit Snacks - - Amazing Spider-Man Fruit Snacks - - Batman Fruit Snacks

Avengers Fruit Snacks

 War, what is it good for?  In this instance a brand new box of Fruit Snacks.  Summer is coming and the season's theme is "heroes fighting heroes."  We've covered some Batman v Superman nosh but now it's Marvel's turn.  In preparation for Captain America: Civil War the movie, we get Captain America: Civil War the fruit snacks!

Much like Cap's last foray into the fruit snack genre, he must share the billing.  Not only does his antagonist Iron Man join him, but a few other characters show up and some even make their fruit snack debut.  Let's check out the team line ups:

Team Cap: Captain America, Ant-Man & Hawkeye
Team Tony: Iron Man, Black Widow & Black Panther

While Black Widow and Hawkeye have been on a package or two and possibly on some actual food, this is (to my knowledge) the freshman effort by both Ant-Man and Black Panther.  Welcome aboard guys!

Meat Marketing

Here's my theory on this:  I think Marvel got wind of the massive Bats v Supes promotional brouhaha and they decided to fight quantity with quality.  When you give the green light to superhero branded meat products you have opened the door to some next-level marketing warfare.  With that, we crack open a package of Avengers Turkey Sausage Sticks:

This one also has the virtue of being more inclusive of the bench warming team members.  In addition to the "Big 4" you also get Black Widow, Hawkeye and the Falcon.  Not enough artery clogging fun for you?  Good news, then!  You also get a villain!  Ultron joins the fray to turn snack time into ultimate battle time!

So wrap your head around this game changing nosh.  Barriers have been broken!  Doors have been opened!  Aquaman canned tuna?  Why not?  Hawkman chicken wings?  Let's give it a try!  Iron Man canned ham?  You bet!

Recipe: A Slice of Liberty

Want to make a dessert that honors both comics and the U.S. of A?  Then this is your lucky day:

Mini Bars

When you're involved in the fast paced "Super Hero Food" game you see a lot of stuff.  Tons of it is chocolate and most of it is Avengers related promotional products.  But occasionally you turn a corner in an unsuspecting soda themed gift shop and find yet another Avengers themed chocolate candy...that you haven't seen before...and so here we are.  Let's crack open the bag and see what's what:

No surprises here.  We've got the fab four in wrapper form but not in candy form.  The mini bars are a little bigger than the chocolate mints that are left pillows at various upscale hotels and at crappy Italian food chains.  Not too much to see here but they make up for a lack of shapes with "Fun Facts" inside each wrapper:

Although they should be renamed "Fun" Facts.  Info about the Abomination and Mjölnir are joined by Shellhead's other nickname and the fact that Cap likes motorcycles.  I haven't opened up any more yet.  I'm hoping they'll last until Halloween.  So maybe buried somewhere in there are spoilers about Captain America: Civil War.  Trick or treat!

Fromage of Ultron

It's always nice to get out of the cereal/candy/cracker vortex and find the Super Hero Food genre in a different grocery aisle.  And, don't ask me why but, anything that's especially perishable seems especially special.  This, of course, brings us to the topic of Avengers Cheese:

In this continuity "string cheese" is known as "Hero Twists."  A little artificial coloring gives us two toned "twists" which, we can assume, is twice the fun?  As with many Avengers products we only get appearances of the Fab Four, both on the outside and the inside:

Well, what else can be said?  They taste like cheese (because they are cheese) and they would fit perfectly in your Hulk lunch box.  To put them in an historical perspective, they join a precious few other examples of cheesy hero goodness such as Justice League Cheese Snacks:

And Superman Pasteurized Cheese Food Product:

Dawn of a New Age

The time has come.  After years of speculation and anticipation, whispers and rumors, we finally get to see what we've been dreaming of for far too long.  Today is the day I've waited for all my life:

Ok, so granted, I've been ranting about wanting Iron Man cereal for the past several years and this is technically Avengers: Age of Ultron Cereal, but look who's right up front.  Shellhead is flanked by his two best wingmen but for some reason there's no love for Thor.  Now no one would expect to see Hawkeye of Black Widow (or as they're sometimes known: "And the Rest") but the lack of Thor is...well...ungodly.  This neglect continues once you open the box:

In addition to the nondescript, square cereal shapes there are three different marshmallow varieties, presumably representing our three cover boys.  Red and blue for Cap.  Red and yellow for Iron Man and green and a slightly different shade of green (unless I imagined it) for the Hulk.  But if you are worried about Thor withdrawls, just turn the box over:

Consider it a cameo.  We've got one coder breaker-esque puzzle type game to help you bide your time while chewing.  The bulk of the back, however is devoted to the overly complicated way of buying a certain number of products in a certain time frame in order to get a free ticket to some movie of somethingorother.  Who cares!?!?  I've finally got my Avengers cereal!!  It will now take its rightful place in my collection:

Let's Get Crackin'

It.  Has.  BEGUN!

Avengers Age of Ulton may still be a few months away but the Hype Train has now officially left the station.  Forget the trailers, posters, tweets and online buzz.  The REAL first day of movie promotion starts in the grocery store.  And that day is today.  Avengers Cheez-Its, anyone?

They're certainly not Marvel's first superhero foray into the cracker genre:

 

But some extra steps were taken here and that need to be acknowledged.  Let's start with the shapes.  With many teams, particularly the Avengers, food real estate is at a premium and usually goes to the most popular profitable characters.  That being said, I would like to welcome Black Widow (who usually gets left out) to the grocery aisle, even if it's only her logo:

In addition to her logo we've got Iron Man's mask, Cap's Shield, the Avengers logo, Thor's hammer...essentially the usual shapes we've seen in cookies, pasta and fruit snacks before.  Of course, there's no Hawkeye but it's rare to see him on a package, outside of a group shot anyway so it's not like he was expected.  We'll just have to be satisfied with Widow's inclusion.      

The other good element from this snack is a throwback to the old days of games on the back of cereal boxes and this time you get two for one:

Everything is included except the coin you need to flip for "Game of Heroes."  I would image that it would work with dice as well but Big Cracker didn't want to take the chance that you didn't have a pair handy.  Odds are, you are someone near you might have a coin on hand when cracking open a box. 

You can also try spend some cracker crunching time with "Ultron's Menacing Maze."  And if it's too menacing then there is a URL at the bottom, in small print, you can use to find the answer.  Yes, that's right.

Hopefully this is only the beginning of the AoU hype train.  I, for one, am ready to get on board.  

Souper Can

The Age of Ultron hype has officially made it to the grocery aisles.  While not exactly a true movie tie-in, Avengers Fun Shaped Pasta Soup is definitely meant to whet the appetite of fanboy foodies and maintain a market presence of the Earth's Mightiest Heroes.  While I assume that each Avenger gets a spotlight on the label, there was only one who managed to push his way to the front and center:

He may not be getting his own movie anytime soon but he definitely got his own soup can label.  'Nuff Said.

And now for the breakdown:

I guess noodles are an easier medium than gummies.  The shapes are not too far off from the pictures.    Of course, only the fab four are included but it seems like an arrow or two from Hawkeye wouldn't have been too hard.  Maybe by Phase Four...

Avengers Cookies Assemble!

Occasionally companies that market super hero licenses remember that kids like cookies.  It's a lot rarer than you would think.  In the grocery store we're tripping all over Super Hero Fruit Snacks but for some reason cookies are few and far between.  That's what makes these beauties so special:

Honey Maid Avengers chocolate cookies are now in our lives.  The other good news is that, much like the best old school cereal, the back of the box is fun-packed with fun-type fun activities:

Despite being not particularly difficult, I appreciate the extra effort.  And it doesn't stop there.  The side of the box includes hero bios.  This box had Captain America but I assume the other boxes had the rest of the team:

They also did a good job with their shapes.  We've got the Avengers logo, Cap's shield, the Iron Man mask and Hulk's fist (which is quickly becoming the new, international symbol of the Hulk):

All in all I'd call it a great effort and definitely a good way to pass the time while while for the next Avengers movie.

Avengers Assemble Fruit Snacks

Amazing Spider-Man 2 Fruit Snacks - - Iron Man 3 Fruit Snacks - -  Captain America Fruit Snacks - - Superman Fruit Snacks

Super Hero Squad Fruit Snacks - - Amazing Spider-Man Fruit Snacks - - Batman Fruit Snacks

Avengers Fruit Snacks

Not to be mistaken with the movie Avengers, the cartoon Avengers are also fruit snack worthy.  Sadly, the superior Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes got skipped for the current Avenger's Assemble. Such is life.

Not a lot of surprises in the breakdown but certainly a few missed opportunities. Hulk and Iron Man are the only characters who get their faces gummy-tized.  Mjölnir and Cap's shield appear as they usually do and the S.H.I.E.L.D. and Avengers logo round out the line up:

So it looks like just a repackaged re-release of the movie fruit snacks:

 

It makes perfect sense from a financial standpoint but is a bit of a letdown from the "obsess about nonsense" standpoint.  I've given up on seeing Black Widow or Hawkeye immortalized in the gummy medium but how about Falcon?  He's in the cartoon and the new Cap movie.  Am I asking too much?

Love is a Battlefield

People tend to complain about how early the Christmas season starts but you hardly ever hear people complaining but the early Valentine's Day onslaught.  The day after New Year's is when the party hats and sparkling grape juice come down off the shelves and the big red hearts go up.  I guess in January people are still so shell shocked from the last two months of holly-jollyness that they welcome the change.

Which is what brings us to the season's first super hero Valentine's Day candy.  Not up for the next holiday yet?  Have an army?  Well, no matter, these guys have a Hulk:

The perfect prep for your class' "everyone gets one" Valentine's Day party is brought to you by the Avengers.  A bag of 24 plastic hearts containing the only four Avengers anyone cares about is now available for you to give to your 24 true loves.

They've even paired up to help get things going.  At this point you may be worried that inside the well branded plastic hearts lurk boring, generic candy...Smarties or the like.  But don't worry, our heroes still have a special place inside our hearts...

...just not a particularly photogenic one.  As you may or may not be able to see for the picture, the candies include likeness of (from left to right) Iron Man's helmet, Thor's hammer Mjölnir and the Hulk's face.  Captain America's face and/or shield?  I couldn't find it.  

So break out your red construction paper and start decorating your shoe boxes.