Breakfast on the Run

 Previously:

Cup Cakes  - -  Sunrise Superman

There are faces you expect to pop up in the grocery aisles from time to time:  your Supermen, your Spider-Men, your Batmen and maybe your Hulks.  And these days, with various cinematic universes, it's not unlikely to find other super heroic faces staring at you from the candy or hot cocoa aisle.  

They're usually in the context of being on a team or currently starring in a hit movie.  But sometimes, a solo artist sneaks in and gets a chance to shine.  That brings us to the Flash cereal, a.k.a "Lightning Bolts."

It was released alongside the Superman cereal under the Cap'n Crunch banner and is shrouded in mystery. Why were these cereals released?  Why does it say "Cap'n Crunch" on the box?  Why were Superman & the Flash chosen as opposed to other characters?  The answers may have been lost to the annals of cereal history.

But unlike the Superman box, the Flash is flying solo.  The back of his box has artwork meant to resemble a trading card, including the most minimal amount of biographical information possible.  It feels a little low effort and won't make for multi-breakfast reading sessions but, hey, it's the Flash!  Check out this video where I crack open a box:

Yes, I'm on the TikToks now.  Do the right think and go like and subscribe...

Pet Food

 Previously:

Fruit Brutes

 Far From Home Fruit Snacks  - -  Teen Titans Go Fruit Snacks  - -  Justice League Fruit Snacks

DC Superhero Girls Fruit Snacks  - -  Batman v Superman Fruit Snacks

Amazing Spider-Man 2 Fruit Snacks  - -  Iron Man 3 Fruit Snacks

Captain America Fruit Snacks  - -  Superman Fruit Snacks  - -  Super Hero Squad Fruit Snacks

Amazing Spider-Man Fruit Snacks  - - Batman Fruit Snacks  - -  Avengers Fruit Snacks

It's new fruit snack season!  Looks like snack time has gone to the dogs (I'm so funny) with the new DC League of Super-Pets Fruit Snacks.  The movie hasn't been released yet but it's already on my very short list of "Reasons to Leave My House."  Well, the movie and the fruit snacks.  

This one is under the "Funables" brand that seems to be cranking out licensed fruit snacks in their own branded purple boxes.  I don't know where this company came from but they've been on fire the last couple of years with character-based snacks including DC Comics, Nickelodeon and other popular folks.

One of their best features is the collectible cards included on each box.  I'm a sucker for the "cut on the dotted line" prompt...and that's exactly what I did.  And now I'm the proud owner of card 1 of 3.  You could say I've invested in Krypto (see, I told you I was funny).

I guess Ace the Bat-Hound and Wonder Pig (or whatever her name is) are the other two cards.  While I definitely get excited about fruit snacks, I don't think I'm excited enough to buy two more boxes of these things to get the other cards.  But while the excitement lasts, let's take a look inside the box:

Is now is a good time to mention that I'm on TikTok?  Go ahead and give me a follow for all kinds of weird food and whatnot.  

Hershey's Heroes

When it comes to qualifying Super Hero Food, I tend to stick to my arbitrary rules ("Iron Man Cereal" vs. Cap'n Crunch with a picture of Iron Man on the box) but just as often I break my arbitrary rules when something catches my eye.  And the new Hershey's DC Super Hero Bars did just that.

They're being marketing along with the "Back to School" products which you can see by Superman and Wonder Woman chaperoning the school bus.  They're obviously keeping an eye on any potential trouble makers trying to hide out in the back.  As you can probably guess, these a Hershey bars that are branded with DC Comics characters.

They're miniature size and, as such, would fit just fine in a lunch box.  I guess that's why they're in with the "Back to School" themed stuff.  Although I think they would have done just fine if they were released a month later for Halloween.  I know a few little superheroes who would love to get these in their Tricks-Or-Treats plastic pumpkin.  Let's crack open that bag:

No big surprises in the lineup.  We've got Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Green Lantern, Aquaman and, once again, Cyborg has kicked Martian Manhunter right out of the picture.  I'm starting to think this replacement Leaguer is gonna stick around.  I hold out hope that maybe it will lead to some Doom Patrol candy or whatnot. 

With the wrapper off, we see the traditional, sectioned-off Hershey's bar with each section containing a character's logo.  But there's more than just the Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Superman and Batman symbols that you see here.  So far, I've only opened a few but I've also seen the Batmobile, a "BAM!" sound effect, and some stars that have a Wonder Woman vibe.

Not sure if these are mostly going to end up in lunchboxes, Halloween bags or just in a lot of folk's quarantine candy pile but it's always good to see the League make a prominant appearance in the grocery aisles.

Crack Team

There are two types of Super Hero Food: one type that ties in with a movie or TV show and another that doesn't.  The first kind is a dime a dozen whereas the second is a little more rare.  This type seems to be an effort to keep the characters in the public eye and, of course, make a little money.

These are always more fun because they just "are."  Justice League Crackers are Justice League Crackers for the sake of being Justice League Crackers.  Which brings us to today's entry: Justice League Crackers!

Nabisco Justice League Mini Cheese Nips are the most recent item to make its way into my shopping cart.  They are your standard cheese cracker but with the theme of never-ending justice.  The usual gang is involved and, wisely, Nabisco decided to go with logos instead of faces.  Let's see how the cracker crumbles:

No Green Lantern and, of course, the ongoing Martian Manhunter snub is still in full effect.  Also, apparently Cyborg has a logo now and it's not bad.  Looks like a "C" with a gear in the middle which is a pretty clean design and translates well into the cracker medium.

The rest of the usual line up get their own crackers, as per their Justice League contracts.  All the logos look pretty good and are easily more recognizable than they tend to be in gummie format which makes me wonder why we don't get more character cracker stuff on a regular basis. 

There's a group shot on the back along with a nice little quiz.  As with most "back of the box" fare, this feels less like homework and more like a little light snack time fun.  You can see that the cracker-less Green Lantern makes an appearance at the back of the group shot and even gets his own trivia question.

The twelve packs of these beauties will fit very nicely in your Justice League lunch box with your Doom Patrol Tuna Salad sandwich.  Enjoy!

Emerald Frylight

Previously:

The Colonel of Two Worlds  - -   Next Fry Day

You thought your lunch was safe...and it essentially is.  But adventure calls!  Once again a hero rises from the deep fried ashes of Valhalla to insure the herbage and spiciness of your meal will be finger lickin' adequate.  So grab a spork and let's dive into the latest extra crispy adventure of Colonel Sanders as he teams up with Green Lantern in "Across the Universe."

Our story begins as Ferris Aircraft monitors the  crash landing of...something.  As those vultures from the press crowd in to get their pound of chicken flesh, a familiar figure emerges with the payload from the downed spacecraft:

Apparently the Colonel has been testing the process of shooting his new Zinger Sandwich into space...for...some reason.  I assume he's trying to break into the intergalactic fast food market.  But since Ferris can't get the job done he turns to one of his super powered pals for help.

"Every member of the Green Lantern Corp is working on this."  Every single member has ceased protecting their respective sectors in order to help move sandwiches around in space.  Seems legit.  On the brightest (day) side, that comes with the opportunity to have some sweet GL cameos:

The (entire membership of) Green Lanterns determine that for some reason the space buckets are showing up to their destinations empty.  Not so much as an herb or a spice (or that one napkin they give you in the drive thru) make the intergalactic trip.  An investigation is in order and that can only mean one thing:  time to get deputizin'.

So the Colonel gets his own ring but there's a bit of a missed opportunity in that he doesn't give himself his own custom GL uniform.  I guess KFC thought his trademark white suit just couldn't be messed with.  But that's the only opportunity they missed since their intergalactic investigation led to a few DC Comics cameos:

After a quick stop at the Source Wall, the cop buddy road trip heads to Rann to say high to Adam Strange.  And then a quick stop at Thanagar:

to check in with Hawk Girl.  At this point it just seems like Green Lantern is showing off all the cool people he knows to the Colonel.  Sanders didn't have enough time to be impressed since they picked up enough clues to lead them right to the prime suspect.

So we then get your standard fight scene as Larfleeze gives his usual spiel about how he's greedy and he wants and wants and wants and that he's totally into these new space sandwiches.  But the Colonel has heard enough and, as the true businessman, comes up with the most profitable solution.

Yep, the logical solution to this problem is to give Larfleeze his very own KFC franchise to run.  Makes perfect sense, right?  Well it doesn't if you don't think about it too much.  All that's left is to give a little praise for a job well done:

Great job guys!  Just like the last couple of issues with the Flash, it looks like they aren't making print copies of this adventure.  Digital only, so grab your copy from Comixology.

Breakfast Club

Not too long ago, we got our grubby hands on a box of Justice League Pop Tarts which featured heroes, sidekicks, logos...everything you want in a quick breakfast.  It's safe to call them a success since Kellogg's decided to produce a sequel.  Say "Good Morning" to the Villains Edition:

Any time I see a "Villains" something-or-other there's the inherent fear that we're going to get a 10-1 ratio of Batman villains to other villains.  I mean, the front of the box has twice as many Bat bad guys as Superman bad guys.  Will the back of the box ease our concerns?

Nope.  It's not too bad but there's still an over-representation of Bat guys.   But let's focus on the positive instead.  Years ago when I first saw Atrocitus come out of that lake of blood, full of rage, I never in my wildest dreams thought I would one day be able to eat something with him on it.  And not just him...let's take a look at the usual suspects:

I don't know much about the process of printing onto foodstuffs but apparently something went wrong with those last two.  But most of the baddies come across legibly.  Let's see the final breakdown:

Batman Villains: 5
Aquaman Villains: 1
Green Lantern Villains: 1
Superman Villains: 1
Flash Villains: 1
Wonder Woman Villains: 1

Yeesh!  Looks like my fears are confirmed.  I'd like to think we could have had at least one additional Flash villain.  There's plenty to choose from and they get featured regularly on the CW on a weekly basis.  Oh well, at least I've got breakfast for the next couple of weeks.

Pasta la Vista

You'll never believe what I saw as I strolled down the Walmart aisles recently.  Well, I guess you don't have to guess since it's the subject of this blog entry.  Now that the dramatic tension is out of the way, here's what I saw:

It feels nice to put aside superhero shaped gummy snacks in favor of a big bowl of superhero shaped pasta in a can!  It's been awhile.  So much so, that I'm worried I might have lost my taste for what used to be a regular lunchtime treat in my younger days.  It doesn't help that these don't have meatballs.  So only one of them made it into my shopping cart and, later, my Super Friends bowl:

The taste was fairly reminiscent of the Spaghetti-O's of my youth and the little logo shapes are much larger than the old school pasta rings I'm used to.  That makes for interesting chewing.  The shapes represent the "Big 3" at DC:

Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman...no surprises here.  Seems like a Green Lantern logo might have been possible in the pasta medium but it looks like it just wasn't meant to be.  Well now isn't the time to get greedy, now is the time to fill up our Super Friends bowls with our Chef Boyardee bounty.

 

Next Fry Day

Previously: The Colonel of Two Worlds

The time has come to tag along on another adventure with an American Icon.  But this time, not just one Colonel will do (although I guess, technically, there were two Colonels last time).  It's time for the Colonel Corps!

The next issue of the KFC/DC combo meal takes it to the next level with a tour of the DC Multiverse and a collection of Colonels that rival any previous Crisis on Various Earths.  Our story begins with the Colonel of Earth-3, Colonel Sunder, finger licking his wounds after his last confrontation with Colonel Sanders and the Flash (both from Earth-1) when he receives a mysterious visitor:

Meanwhile on Earth-1, our Colonel is also recovering from the previous confrontation.  Apparently many of his employees fell under the sweetly seductive spell of Sunder and are now not working up to the Colonel's standards.

You see, Colonel Sanders is all about doing things the hard way whereas Sunder is all about the shortcut.  So maybe the employees aren't cooking the chicken all the way through?  Salmonella is not your friend on any Earth (except maybe Bizarro World).

It's worth noting that the last issue was a team-up between the Colonel and the Flash (with a little assist from Green Lantern) but this adventure is definitely Colonel-centric.  So if you were yearning for more Colonel Sanders in your life, then this adventure is definitely for you.

While getting his house in order, Earth-1 Colonel is overcome by a mental attack from an unknown source.  He wakes up to the sight of the Colonel and the Flash from Earth-11:

After a little exposition we learn that all the Colonels have had their memories wiped.  They each only retain 1 of the 11 secret herbs and spices that make up the KFC recipe.  The solution was then obvious: hop on the Cosmic Treadmill and go from Earth to Earth collecting Colonels and therefore the herb and spice knowledge necessary to recreate the Secret Recipe!

The Earths/Colonels they found include (but are not limited to):

Hardcase Harlan from Earth-19 (the so-called "SteamPunk" Earth)

Koln-El from Earth-22 (the Kingdom Come Earth)

Kolonel from Earth 51 (the "Kamandi" Earth)...which seems to have some upsetting connotations since he is clearly a chicken that fries and serves other chickens for his patrons.  But that's a story for another time. 

Several other Colonels from several other Earths (including one from the 31st Century who cooked for the Legion of Super Heroes and the Bizarro Colonel) hopped on board for the cause.  They eventually track down Colonel Sunder and his mysterious ally who turns out to be...Colonel Grodd!!

So now Sunder and Grodd must face the combined might of the Colonel Corps: an elite team of southern fried superheroes representing the 11 herbs and spices of justice!  (Also, don't forget, the Flash of Earth-11 is there too):

It doesn't take long for our heroes to take out the bad guys.  They even repel a psychic assault from Grodd who tempts them to take the easy way out...but the easy way doesn't get that chicken fried, does it?

So once again, evil is defeated and lunch is served.  We have to assume that all the Colonels were returned to their rightful Earths and Sunder and Grodd were incarcerated, never again to take away delicious meals from society.  The End...or is it?!?!?