Pasta la Vista

You'll never believe what I saw as I strolled down the Walmart aisles recently.  Well, I guess you don't have to guess since it's the subject of this blog entry.  Now that the dramatic tension is out of the way, here's what I saw:

It feels nice to put aside superhero shaped gummy snacks in favor of a big bowl of superhero shaped pasta in a can!  It's been awhile.  So much so, that I'm worried I might have lost my taste for what used to be a regular lunchtime treat in my younger days.  It doesn't help that these don't have meatballs.  So only one of them made it into my shopping cart and, later, my Super Friends bowl:

The taste was fairly reminiscent of the Spaghetti-O's of my youth and the little logo shapes are much larger than the old school pasta rings I'm used to.  That makes for interesting chewing.  The shapes represent the "Big 3" at DC:

Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman...no surprises here.  Seems like a Green Lantern logo might have been possible in the pasta medium but it looks like it just wasn't meant to be.  Well now isn't the time to get greedy, now is the time to fill up our Super Friends bowls with our Chef Boyardee bounty.

 

Next Fry Day

Previously: The Colonel of Two Worlds

The time has come to tag along on another adventure with an American Icon.  But this time, not just one Colonel will do (although I guess, technically, there were two Colonels last time).  It's time for the Colonel Corps!

The next issue of the KFC/DC combo meal takes it to the next level with a tour of the DC Multiverse and a collection of Colonels that rival any previous Crisis on Various Earths.  Our story begins with the Colonel of Earth-3, Colonel Sunder, finger licking his wounds after his last confrontation with Colonel Sanders and the Flash (both from Earth-1) when he receives a mysterious visitor:

Meanwhile on Earth-1, our Colonel is also recovering from the previous confrontation.  Apparently many of his employees fell under the sweetly seductive spell of Sunder and are now not working up to the Colonel's standards.

You see, Colonel Sanders is all about doing things the hard way whereas Sunder is all about the shortcut.  So maybe the employees aren't cooking the chicken all the way through?  Salmonella is not your friend on any Earth (except maybe Bizarro World).

It's worth noting that the last issue was a team-up between the Colonel and the Flash (with a little assist from Green Lantern) but this adventure is definitely Colonel-centric.  So if you were yearning for more Colonel Sanders in your life, then this adventure is definitely for you.

While getting his house in order, Earth-1 Colonel is overcome by a mental attack from an unknown source.  He wakes up to the sight of the Colonel and the Flash from Earth-11:

After a little exposition we learn that all the Colonels have had their memories wiped.  They each only retain 1 of the 11 secret herbs and spices that make up the KFC recipe.  The solution was then obvious: hop on the Cosmic Treadmill and go from Earth to Earth collecting Colonels and therefore the herb and spice knowledge necessary to recreate the Secret Recipe!

The Earths/Colonels they found include (but are not limited to):

Hardcase Harlan from Earth-19 (the so-called "SteamPunk" Earth)

Koln-El from Earth-22 (the Kingdom Come Earth)

Kolonel from Earth 51 (the "Kamandi" Earth)...which seems to have some upsetting connotations since he is clearly a chicken that fries and serves other chickens for his patrons.  But that's a story for another time. 

Several other Colonels from several other Earths (including one from the 31st Century who cooked for the Legion of Super Heroes and the Bizarro Colonel) hopped on board for the cause.  They eventually track down Colonel Sunder and his mysterious ally who turns out to be...Colonel Grodd!!

So now Sunder and Grodd must face the combined might of the Colonel Corps: an elite team of southern fried superheroes representing the 11 herbs and spices of justice!  (Also, don't forget, the Flash of Earth-11 is there too):

It doesn't take long for our heroes to take out the bad guys.  They even repel a psychic assault from Grodd who tempts them to take the easy way out...but the easy way doesn't get that chicken fried, does it?

So once again, evil is defeated and lunch is served.  We have to assume that all the Colonels were returned to their rightful Earths and Sunder and Grodd were incarcerated, never again to take away delicious meals from society.  The End...or is it?!?!?

Commercial Break: Kraft Macaroni & Cheese DC Superheroes

Previously: X-Men Pasta

Word on the street is that today is National Macaroni Day.  So let's celebrate with this commercial from the 90's featuring Kraft Macaroni & Cheese DC Superheroes Dinner!

Food Fight

Anytime you get a group of super powered individuals together there is bound to be conflict.  This summer, the movie theaters were lousy with hero on hero violence.  Punches were thrown, kicks were kicked and we all ducked and dodged our way around various batarangs and repulsor blasts.

But there was another fight that landed on the small screen.  It starred DC's newest all star team and their unlikely allies.  Four groups of competitors entered the battlefield of baked goods to team up with the DC Super Hero Girls and that can only mean one thing:  WAR!

You may recall when we covered the 50th Anniversary of the Fantastic Four on Last Cake Standing.  This time we have a new super hero team on a new show.  Let's meet our contestants:

As you can guess from the title "Cupcake Wars: Kids vs. Adults," half the competitors are kids and half are adults. They are tasked with creating cupcakes that have the look and flavors that incorporate the themes and characters of the DC Super Hero Girls.

If you are not familiar with the team, they are an all-ages, all star lineup of some of the best DC Comics female heroes (and, for some reason, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy) that are meant to be inspiring and empowering to kids.

As these reality type competition shows tend to do, there is a panel of judges.  Two of which are regulars but the other two have definite comic book credibility when it comes to this team of heroines:

                     

Shea Fontana is the writer of the Super Hero Girls (which covers a ton of different different mediums from comics to animated shorts to an upcoming movie) and Ashley Eckstein is a prolific actress and voice performer who does the voice of Cheetah in the DC Super Hero Girls productions (she also voiced Dagger from Ultimate Spider-Man unlimited and Ahsoka in Star Wars Clone Wars and Star Wars Rebels).  

And then we have the host:

  

I believe his name is Screamy McScreamerton.  Coincidentally, instead of talking he screams EVERY SINGLE WORD!!!

Clearly a protege of the Garrett Morris School of Inflection, Screamy instructs the competitors  through three challenges: Taste, Taste & Presentation and Display Presentation.  Unfortunately, unlike the fondant heavy Fantastic Four cakes we previously saw, cupcakes don't really lend themselves to sculpting specific, large scale images.  So the bakers had to try to convey characters through an overall theme of the cupcakes.  Let's see a few of the better ones:

We've got Poison Ivy on the left, Harley Quinn on the right and Batgirl behind them.

Here's a Katana cupcake...

...and a Wonder Woman...

And the winners had their cupcakes served at a DC Super Hero Girls themed party where the young attendees presumably became lifelong fans of both super heroes and free cupcakes.

Cotton Club

I like to make my rounds to grocery stores, drug stores, dollar stores and the like to keep an eye on what's happening in the Super Hero Food world.  You never know what you'll find and you never know where you'll find it.  To that end, I like to swing by Toys 'R' Us every now and then.  They have a small little candy section that delivers from time to time.  In fact, it's where I found our latest bag of super hero cotton candy:

Among the team's other accomplishments, the Justice League has now successfully broken into the world of spun sugar.  Justice League Cotton Candy is here and we're going to have to get used to it.

It looks like we're also going to have to get used to Martian Manhunter being scrubbed from JL history.  While it was rare for him to show up on various food products from the beginning, it is now a given that Cyborg will be in his place for now and...forever?  At least Aquaman made the cut.

Looks like the flavor breakdown includes pink vanilla and blue raspberry.  While blue raspberries don't occur in nature, they have been a part of kids kids' candy and drinks for many years now.  So there's no surprise there.  Pink Vanilla, though?  That seems to be something that only happens in the Cotton Candy World.  Which is weird because "cotton candy" has been a flavor in and of itself for a good long while.  So it's weird that vanilla got an invitation to this party.

And it looks like this.  It's fairly similar to the Batman Cotton Candy from awhile back.  Two flavors for the price of one!  So if you want to add a little carnival flair to your day-to-day life you need only to head to Toys 'R' Us (while supplies last).

Captain's Crunch

This hasn't been the best summer for super hero food but it's been pretty darn good.  I still haven't finished off both boxes of Batman v Superman cereal and now the Breakfast Gods have smiled again and given us the gift of Civil War Cereal:

Make no mistake though, despite how it looks the above pic, there is only one Civil War cereal.  One side has Cap and the other side has Iron Man.  I guess as you eat you can pick a side to either stare at admirably or glare at ominously depending on your hashtag team affiliation. 

Inside you get the standard sweetened cereal and marshmallows:

I genuinely wonder why they went with circular marshmallows as opposed to red, white and blue star shaped marshmallows.  If Lucky Charms could give us multiple marshmallow shapes in the 70's, surely the Avengers have that technology as well.

I'll leave you with the side of the box, commentary free.  Mainly because I don't have anything interesting to say about it:

Justice Desserts

I'm pretty sure there is a Cold Stone Creamery near me but I don't think I've ever been to one.  Which is a shame because I totally missed out on the recent Batman v Superman promotion.  Just like similar past promotions from Baskin-Robbins, these guys were way too subtle with their marketing and it was totally off my radar.  That being said, let's take a quick look at the gloomy trinity's sweet treats:

Each one of the big three got their own themed sundae.  I still haven't seen this movie but I can't imagine anyone associated with it would enjoy ice cream.  Even if they had their own sundae designed for them.  It would get in the way of the brooding.  Of course I am more than happy to dive into them.  Let's take a closer look:

Here's the breakdown:

• "Batman's Chocolate Cookie Crusade" - Yeah, Batman always gets chocolate as a flavor.  That's a no-brainer.
• "Superman's Kryptonian Cake Sensation" - A lot of times you get the whole "Green Kryptonite" theme but they went with the yellow, blue and red sprinkles instead.  And cake!
• "Wonder Woman's Strawberry Warrior" - I'll be honest, those look like raspberries to me.  Also, the strawberry option always seem to be the "girly" option and I don't think that's particularly necessary.  I see here as more of a peanut butter cookie flavor, maybe?

Need to feed a group?  Let them eat cake:

They went with the "Superman Punching the Batmobile" theme.  Seems like they could have done a little bit more with this one but we get what we get...with ice cream and with movies.

Team Effort

The time has come for us to take a long hard look at Avengers Granola Bars.  Just in time for Civil War, these guys put Captain America front and center on the box.  He's definitely the star of the moment and it's his time to shine.

Of course the back of the box is fair game for entertainment.  They're forgoing the puzzle and game route in favor of the the old "cut out your own trading card" chestnut.  This box had the Hulk.  I searched the shelves to see what other characters were in the mix but it looks like the store only got the Hulk shipment.

I'm always tempted to cut these things out but, of course, I never do.  I like to think that lots of other people do though.  Years from now the things we've protected from sunlight and dust in the practice of keeping so called "collectibles" in perfect shape will be completely upstaged by the wonderment of the perfectly cut back-of-the-box trading card.  That's the world I want to live in.

Cap and Hulk are joined by the rest of the gang on the box and on the "Special Character Wrappers":

As usual, no Hawkeye. And the new kids (Scarlet Witch, the Vision, Ant-Man, etc) didn't make the cut either.  Looks like the lunch box bouncer has has very specific parameters when it comes to letting certain heroes behind the velvet rope.

UPDATE:  Looks like there's an Iron Man version of the box too.  Which is odd that they are "Avengers Bars" instead of "Civil War Bars":

Pop Stars

Your new breakfast of champions comes in the form of Justice League Pop Tarts.  While there is currently a deluge of Batman v Superman stuff out there right now, these guys are specifically branded as "Justice League."

Sure it has the "Big 3" plastered on the front, who happen to also share screen time in the movie but plenty of their team mates also show up to tell you the good news about this year's most exciting breakfast treat:

        

 And the entire roster shows up on the back of the box doing their patented "Justice League Lineup Pose" including some First Appearance info, and of course secret identity info:

 And everybody gets a short bio underneath the posing.  Except for Cyborg for some reason.  I'm not too inclined to play the race card but this certainly raises few eyebrows (at least two).  While they may be stingy with the bios, they definitely went all out when it comes to the actual food:

 If you want to get technical, then sure, Catwoman was technically a part of the Justice League line up during the Grant Morrison years but I've never bought into the idea of Robin being in the League.  Sure, maybe Batman let him tag along to one or two of the meetings but he never got his membership card.

To put this into a historical perspective (which I know you were begging for), superheroes are no stranger to the toaster pastry genre.  Back in the Spider-Man movie heyday we got two different versions: